im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
