girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I stole a fireplace last night.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
