i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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