party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
