At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
