then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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