That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
did you just send me my own nude
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
