everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
