Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
