I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
