upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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