If that was your dad, he is hot
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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