Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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