remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
