I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Maybe he injected his testicle?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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