I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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