his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
