he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
