I can tuck mytits in my pants
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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