is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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