508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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