Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
