just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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