Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
