i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
