I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
