There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
