My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
