is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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