Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
