It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Did you just see the Batmobile???
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
So squirting runs in the family.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
