btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
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