They should really pass out barf bags in church
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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