I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
This baby is an asshole
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
