you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
