I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
organizing the empties. That sober.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You took a bar mat shot.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
