my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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