Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
