Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
