Ambien. No doubt about it.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
