Where did you get a picture of my penis
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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