Betty ford says i'm here all night
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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