Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
