my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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