Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
