Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
