Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Drunk is a universal language darling
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
