he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
