so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
