Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
...so i touched it.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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