I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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