I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
